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Archive for the ‘Death’ Category

Why we grieve

Posted by Shamn on 09/01/2009

A death of a loved one can be one of the most distressing and emotional occurrences that a person can experience. When a loved one dies, there are many important decisions that must be made and numerous persons that must be notified. Often, these decisions are made without guidance and under extreme duress from grief and confusion.

 Talking about death is often difficult, but discussion and pre-planning can eliminate stress and confusion when the time comes to make funeral arrangements for a loved one.

 When death occurs, there are needs to be met, concerns to be faced and decisions to be made.   Funeral is a ceremony of worth and value for those who mourn. It provides an opportunity for the survivors and others who shares in the loss to express their love, grief and respect.

Here are ten things you should know about Grieving:

 1)      Grief is a normal healing process when we experience loss or major life changes. Allow yourself to be normal. Allow yourself to grieve.

2)      The emotional pain you are feeling is because your psyche and spirit are adjusting to your loss and all the implications of that loss. Pain is a normal part of grieving.

3)      Your body is also affected by your loss. You will likely have physical symptoms of grieving, such as digestive upsets, change in your sleep pattern, and appetite changes, headaches and increases susceptibility to infections.

4)      Your energy level will be affected for a long time. You will likely find that you have only enough energy for a necessary things and no creative or life enjoyment energy for at least several months. This is normal. You are not ill. Be patient with yourself.

5)      You likely feel as if your brain is wrapped in cotton batting. This is normal and will improve soon. Gradually, as your energy level improves, your cognitive abilities will return to their normal sharpness. In the meantime, avoid making major decisions, such as selling houses.

6)      Crying takes the pressure off. Just as a floodgate can save a dam, your tear ducts can allow healing ears to help you get through this time. Don’t try to prevent yourself from crying.

7)      Telling your story over and over again, to a friend who will listen, a support group or a counselor, may be the most healing thing you can do.

8)      Exercise is very important right now. Take a walk or some other exercise for at least half hour each day.

9)      Many people like to write. Journal writing, letter to friends, letters to the deceased, even letters to your self – these are all ways to support yourself.

10)  Allow yourself as much time as it takes. The grief after a major loss can take several years. You will gradually feel better for longer stretches, but waves of grief will still hit you for a long time. This is normal.

 It takes courage to do the tough work associated with grief. Emotions of grief are real and need to be expressed. Grieving won’t undo the death or take away the void, life will never be quite the same, but it can be meaningful again.

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